::cacat::

bile pelik dan jelik bersatu.macam irama dan lagu.maka wujudlah simfoni sumbang.otak terpaksa berfungsi.dalam keadaan tidak waras.akibat ketagihan lagu yang kronik.lagu menjadi racun.menjalar.dalam pembuluh darah.membunuh.benih-benih akal.lalu muncullah simptom RETARD.

ps:enjoy tengok ugly betty.=]

::dah.jangan tag aku lagik wida!::

1)Write five (5) interesting facts about the person who gave you this award.

::GEDIK lebey.

::kuat nanges.

::chubby

::suke sepah barang.

::suke beli megi tapi tak makan.

::suke paksa-paksa aku bagi nafkah sama dia.

2) Jot down ten (10) interesting facts about yourself or your hobbies.
::suka sama didie saja.

::suka makanan itali

::suka sushi

::suka tengok tv.

::seperti maya..saya juga menuntun redtube.pornhub.

::saya ramai boyfriend dari girlfriend.

::saya juga suka shoppink.

::movie.movie.movie.

::suka teater.

::suka hangout dengan kawan-kawan dan berjalan-jalan.

::suka kawan-kawan saya.=]

3)Pick your ten (10) most deserving receipients and describe them.
::ada aku kisah??

::jangan biarkan hidop anda diselubungi misteri::

oke.baru-baru ni ada satu kes seram berlaku kat zaba.merangkap mantan kolej aku.erkk.silap.silap.sem depan aku akan kembali ke zaba lagik.oke.aku hangen.ngan amin.sebab dia reject aku pas satu sem aku di sana.sangat hampeh.

chup.chup.aku bukan mau cite sal pertukaran aku ke kolej-kolej tersebut.selasa lalu.masa kami dak-dak KTR ngah sebok-sebok serba serbi untuk show festival teater selangor.wani telah menyampaikan berita gempar.sorang dak pompuan master kimia.MATI.sebab pe??ntah aku pon tatau.echa dato' cakap membe dia kata dak tu mau g sahur.then da lama maseh tak pulang-pulang gak.tahu-tahu.je.da mati.kat parking lot blok C.uish.ngeri.ngeri.dalam paper cakap dia mati sebab terjatuh from bangunan.tingkat 4.akibat??dikejar lembaga.ntahla.sangat misterilah.oke.mari panggil UNCLE SEEKERS.sebab beliau sangat obses kot ngan bende-bende mistik nie.pe agaknye komen uncle ye???

yeah.disebabkan berita ini jugaklah.banyak mesej yang aku terima bertanyakan hal perempuan terbabit.malahan.siap bagi nasihat agar menjaga diri.dan.berhati-hati.hurm.pada yang maseh mengingatkan kau tu.aku ucapkan banyak2 terima kasehlah ye?siyes.aku dalam keadaan trauma skang.takot bodo.dulu xrumet aku cite sal antu endon.nyanyi2 lagu sephia sambil membilang selipar kat lua yang bersepah-sepah tu.kepala dok lepak baek punya kat tingkap membe dia yang nga stadi.pergh.tambah ngan cite nie?cane aku mau tido sane??erk..

ps:kepada encek pengurus kolej amin.sila ambil aku kembali sebagai warga amin.aku tamao jadik warga zaba.pls.pls.

::karma bukan kurma::

kau percaya karma tak??oke..aku percaya..

padan muka kau.kau potong que aku.kau tinggal anak kau kat belakang.ahahhha.aku suke.aku mahu menari samba tengok kau.cuak.ahahha.cuak kau anak kau tinggal kat belakang.tu lah.mak bapak anta kau gi skola.suh kau jadik pandai.nanti dah tua-tua cam skang takde la kau bangang sangat.kecik-kecik tak mau mampus.dah tua-tua menyusahkan orang len.

oke.kau tua.aku muda.kau cakap aku kurang aja.kurang aja kau pulak??penah kau amek kira?? penah kau kesah kau kurang aja ngan aku??tak penah kan??so??"orang tua dihormati..orang muda disayangi"..aku cakap :pegi mati sama kau.orang tua jahanam.tawu potong que saja.kau ingat aku suka tayang muka depan bas.que panjang.berdiri lama-lama tunggu pintu bas bukak.pastu senang-senang kau mau potong line??tatau adap kah kau?? dah bape lama Tuhan kasik kau bernafas atas dunia ni??sampai adap sopan santun kau ntah ke mana-mana.kat orang cam kau ke yang aku nak show some respect??

so..tu lah karma kau wat hari ini.terima kasehla sebab potong que aku tadi.naseb kau lah sakai. aku tak kan pernah mahu kasihan dan respect sama orang yang macam kau.bia lah orang mahu cakap aku kejam.zalim.takde perasaan.sebab aku memangtakde perasaan untuk orang yang macam kau.pompuan tua bangang.bodoh sombong.ah.benci kau.

ps:"kau" dalam cite ni adalah pompuan.tua.achi.oke?pissed off.

:: fuck achi si pemotong que::

::result..jeng..jeng..jeng..::

get to know myself better:-

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

the clothes im wear:-

What others see from your style

Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends, you actually wear carefully designed accessories and clothes that emphasize your uniqueness. You value your freedom and have an artistic mind. You are neither aggressive nor timid, but you believe in yourself.

What your nightclothes reveal

You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.

What others see from your ties

You enjoy being alone. You like to life the simple but good life, and you cherish your freedom. You are thoughtful, confident and uninterested in glamour.

What others see from your belts

You are a lonely and demanding person. You are hardworking as well as intelligent, and can be passionate when in love.

What others see from your shoes

You are a person who loves simplicity and is sincere and open. You are pleasant to be with, easygoing and always in a good mood. You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control. You don't care much about how you look, and know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important.

What others see from your earrings

You are probably an independent and strong-willed person. Fairness is important to you, and you always stand up for what you believe in. You are friendly and get along well with people.

The last analysis

You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.

how well i can get along with others:-

Here is the analysis:

You can make friends with anyone and are always interested in what people have to say, but you can also spend time alone quite happily and without getting bored. You don't overreact to things around you, and people consider you to be a bit of a cool cucumber.

my handwriting:-

Here is the analysis:

You are a sociable and outgoing person. You enjoy attending parties and seek attention from people wherever you can. The closer you place your words together, the more afraid you are of being left alone. Loneliness is your one great fear.

my jeans and personality:-

Faded and Worn Out Jeans

People who adore old worn out jeans show that they are just plain simple, down-to-earth persons who aren't hung up with money or status symbols.

my ice cream flavor:-

Mixed flavors

You are a negotiator. You'll do anything you can to avoid open conflict so you never start quarrels. You will give in when you think it's appropriate but you can be doggedly persistent when you know that justice is on your side.

the real me:-

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

what does being a friend really mean to me:-

You value your friendships: 85%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

type of personality did i have:-

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

::owh.TM..::

<----ini menara pucuk rebung kebanggaan TM.tp bukan tempat aku praktikal.

hohohohohhoh.

minggu ini sangat penat.biarpun aku bukanlah seorang manager hatta makcik cleaner sekalipun. tapi aku tetap sibuk.mengalahkan ceti haram yang mahu menyimbah rumah mangsa dengan cat berwarna merah.

minggu ini jugak, dua kali aku terbangun lambat.ya.pastinya akibat kepenatan melayari internet. menatap serta membalas komen-komen di facebook.friendster.myspace.dan blog. oyeah.komen yang super biasa-biasa saja..tapi tetap memenatkan otak aku untuk memerah otak mencari idea.

ahha.takdelah.aku penat sebab tetiba je aku rasa sekarang ni aku sudah macam staff TM lak. kenapa??dah sumenye aku handle.yeah.ada gak staff yang datang training tanye cani;

akak cun: adik,dah lama ke kerja kat TM ni??

aku: huh?eyh.takdelah.saya ni practical student je kat sini.

akak cun: owh.yeke?bape lama praktikal?

aku: owh.DUA bulan je.=] (dengan riaknye)

akak cun: eyh.kejapnye??amek ape?? degree ke??

aku: aah.bba,pn.

akak cun: owh.oke la.best kerja sini??

aku: ahahah..bolehlah.(tersipu-sipu malu)

.............................lain-lain...........................

encek garang: dik.staff sini ke?

aku: eyh.takdelah encek.saya student.praktikal je kat sini.

encek garang: owh.ambik course ape?

kawan encek garang: student mana??

aku: amek bba.kat ukm,bangi.

encek garang: owh.TM ada bagi elaun kan?

kawan encek garang: ish.mana ada.dari zaman aku praktikal lagi takde bagi.

aku: aah.takde.(sengeh-sengeh je.)

encek garang:ahhahaha.ada chance tak nak masuk TM??

aku: ntahlah.saya bukan scholar TM.huhuhu.

encek garang: owh.eheheh.(sengeh-sengeh)

aku: hurm..wat bodo.

dah.tu antara perbualan di antara aku dan participant kursus yang aku jaga.minggu lepas heavenlah.sebab aku join kelas..kali ni,aku coordinate kelas.200% atas aku.pikul note sorang-sorang.arrange kelas sorang-sorang..mana aku tak penat.dengan kelas masalah banyak giler.lcdlah.aircondlah.trainerlah.participantlah.haih.geram je.mana nak carik orang mau kunci kelas.mana mau carik orang betulkan aircond.sebaba aku haram kenal orang-orang dari department FM.(cani kot ejaan dia)

stress.oke.sangat stress.tapi walau apapun.things are getting better.yeah.takdelah time cam awal-awal dulu.serba serbi tak kena.ada je yang salah.mak tiri sudah mula bagi muka kat aku.ehehhe.ape hal ye??tapi aku lagi suka bila dia tiada di ofis.rasa lagi seronok mahu bekerja.

skang nie..aku dah macam staff TM dah. oit.encek TM.berani tak nak hire aku jadik staff kau??

ps: asal widda panggil aku ayeenberrie??xrock langsung.widda.tolong tukar nama.if not,aku ceraikan kau talak 26788.mahu??

::my abah..my hero::

happy father's day.=]

today.14 of june 2009.its sunday.and father's day.to all daddy in the world.wishing you guys a very blessful father's day.have a healthy life.lovely family.successful job.joyful day.may God always put His blessing on us.

happy father's day..abah..al-fatihah for you.i have nothing to give.but only a pray.that's the only thing i can do for you.=]

::this is not my father grave::

::aymaan=]::

::afundi result exam::

hoi.hoi.ya.hoi.

oyeah.result suda keluar.ngeri.seram.horor.cuak.bercampur baur emosi aku di kala mendapat berita yang result sudah keluar.

dengan bacaan bismillah,aku taip satu-satu.lambat-lambat address ukm/smpweb.da bukak.terus tekan "masuk".pergh.rasa mau gugur jantung time tekan button "keputusan peperiksaan".oke.da tekan.result terpapar kat atas skrin laptop.beep.beep.analisa dulu.teet.mata terus ke subjek pkk. zaaazss..lulus oke.yeah.alhamdulillah.aku lulus sume subjek.subjek nie paling kecut perutla.risau giler kalau kantoi dan kena repeat.alangkah tak coolnye result.dan yang paling best, bile nie sem pertama result aku naek.hahahaha.selalunya musti turun.syukur.syukur.

oke.esok pagi-pagi mahu telefon bunda kasik tawu ini berita gumbira.ahahha.selamat aku.jpa pun selamat.fuh.fuh.esok mesti bermotivasi tinggi ke tempat kerja.lalalalalalala~

ps:biar tak dekan,janji result tak kantoi.takpe.takpe.mak hayam ada lagik sethn mahu dapat dekan.akan diusahakan.berbaloi-baloi.=B

::beep.beep.::

..................................-citer pertama-.......................................

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:16:43 PM): dpt gi final!

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:16:47 PM): kak ayeen kna dtg!

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:00 PM): really??

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:03 PM): tahniah weh.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:08 PM): kewl.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:10 PM): ahhahaha.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:14 PM): ble final??

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:17 PM): katne wat??

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:18 PM): haah

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:20 PM): wida ska2

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:22 PM): hmm

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:25 PM): final 22-28

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:32 PM): x dpt trikh show lg

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:37 PM): just tau 22-28

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:42 PM): owh.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:44 PM): oke.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:45 PM): kat muzium shah alam

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:17:49 PM): dtg tau

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:54 PM): d transpot xmau g??

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:17:57 PM): ahahha.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:02 PM): aku xd transpot.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:08 PM): bole2.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:14 PM): ble da confirm ckp.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:17 PM): aku amek cuti.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:18:18 PM): ala

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:18:21 PM): msti la ada

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:18:26 PM): gi ngn kitorg

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:38 PM): ye2.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:40 PM): ahahah.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:18:43 PM): ske nye aku dgr.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:18:59 PM): yea2

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:19:04 PM): klu kak ayeen ada lg best

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:20:15 PM): asal lak??

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:21:05 PM): best la

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:15 PM): dtg!

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:18 PM): key la

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:24 PM): nk gi pgg seni ni

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:25 PM): daa

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:26 PM): salam

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:29 PM): nnt kita ym lain

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:22:34 PM): cube kau ckp klu aku dtg oe yg best?

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:22:41 PM): oke2.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:22:42 PM): tc.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:22:44 PM): kem slm yg len.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:49 PM): hmm

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:22:57 PM): klu wida kata best 2 xde sbb 

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:01 PM): tp mmg best la

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:03 PM): key

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:23:10 PM): 

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:11 PM): kim slm kwan2 keje kak ayeen yg hnsem

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:13 PM): daa

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:14 PM): salam

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:30 PM): gtau je la

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:23:36 PM): ahahha..

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:23:41 PM): baeklah.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:47 PM): ok

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:23:49 PM): tp aku xd kwn yg hensem2.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:50 PM): bye!

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:23:53 PM): bye.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:53 PM): hmm

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:23:59 PM): kim salam didie pn xpe

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:24:01 PM): hahah

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:12 PM): gedik.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:14 PM): wahahaha.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:16 PM): oke2.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:17 PM): dah2.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:21 PM): g pgg seni.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:27 PM): bye2 syg.

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:24:29 PM): ahahah.

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:24:46 PM): bye2 syg

Widda Ramli (6/8/2009 8:24:47 PM): wahah

::ayeen:: (6/8/2009 8:25:02 PM): gedik sgh.

ni berita gumbira yang aku terima daropada widda semalam.huh.hilang penat buat kerja amal. sangat-sangat bangga dan gembira dengan berita yang di bawakan oleh si widda.hurm.tak sesia korang semua duduk bertapa kat ukm masa cuti ni.dengan tangan si widda kena mein jahet la. tak cukup orang la masa mula-mula nak masuk bertanding.macam-macam dugaan yang korang semua hadapi.tapi sekarang, kira penat lelah korang terbayarla.dapat pergi final pun dah kira bersyukur kan.cuma bila dapat nombor masa akhir nanti kira cam bonus buat korang la. ahahha.

tahniah weh.buat yang terbaek ye nanti.dan disebabkan widda sudah pun memaksa dan

 menempah aku untuk ke akhir nanti, insyaAllah aku turun.aku mintak cuti khas buat korang. ahahahha.cam bizi benar je aku kan???takpelah.aku belajar cara-cara nak uruskan TM.nanti dah grad,aku amek alih.aku kasik line tipon free je kat korang.wahahah~

..............................................-citer kedua lak-..............................................

oke.setiap pagi aku pasti akan menunggu bas untuk ke lrt wangsa maju.pergi balik mesti aku akan sorang achi ni ada sama.yelah.dia pun duduk dekat dengan rumah aku.ceh.aku mau cerita sal achi and the geng ni lah.haih.korang tawu jelah.time balik keje muka mesti ketat tahap gaban nye.penat keje.penat rebut tren lagik.penat mau rebut seat bas lagik.tapikan achi nie memang jenis kurang aja tau.time nga kemut-kemut muka tunggu dreba bas bukak pintu, dan-dan je achi nie potong line.siap tolak-tolak bagai."woi.orang len pun penat gak.cibai sungguh tingkah laku. tawu la kau da tua.wat la cara tua.bangang.super bangang."aku sound je achi nie.mampos lah. aku baya.kau pon baya.wat la cara berhemah sikit kot ye pon mau potong line.biadap.pastu ada sorang lagik pompuan melayu gemok nie.pon kurang aja gak.mentang-mentang la badan kau

 gemok.kau men tolak.men rempuh je orang eyh??kau igt kau sorang je yang tunggu bas?? orang len x?? bahalol nye pompuan..sumpah bodoh.tatau adap.bongok.wah.aku benci kau orang.setan.

::marah nie::

::apart of me is them::

-mereka kawan-kawan aku.aku merindui mereka-

::aku::odah::

.makum.um.07.

::aku::mimi::

.kj.

::zue::ayubeckam::aku::

.ipoh.

::tompel::didie::johan::salim::

.kfc.kluangmall.

::aku::shima::lieza::asmisya::mai::

entrep presentation-kpm.06.

::aku::asmisya::

klcc.08

belakang ::arina::shera::

depan ::ikhsan::timah::didie::

lunch final year student-kpm.06

::aku::black::beruang::bali::

melaka-12.10.08

belakang ::redziz::

depan ::ain::aku::maya::eddy::

latihan sirah junjungan.

.istana budaya.mac.09

belakang ::lynda::shera::ina::

depan ::aku::timah::ika::

hari keluarga kelab boling.

kpm.06

::didie::lynda::aku::

klebang.06

::tingkatan 4 sains 4::

.smkppi.01.

::zul::mer::salim::yoi::chaoi::unknown::memer::epul::cheng::jamal::

::zam::azreen::liza::shiela::

.reunion.

(half budak2 kelas)

ps:maaf.kalau aku tak letak gamba korang.jangan terasa ye??korang tetap kawan-kawan aku.:]

::hey.hey.aku tak percaya cinta.::

sakit.ye.aku sekarang sering sakit.migrain.menjadi-jadi.seminggu dua tiga kali jugaklah menyerang kepala hotak.sehingga aku letih.penat.memotivasi diri.menipu diri.mengatakan ianya akan pulih. ah.perut.sebu.makan ubat.asyik menelan benda yang sama.2 tablet uphamol 650.overdose barangkali aku.demn.otak sudah jam.aku sudah tidak mampu berfikiran waras.berhalusinasi saban waktu. takut pada bayang-bayang sendiri.

ion-ion negatif memenuhi ruang-ruang rongga minda.beep.beep.image kaku terlayar di minda.samar.samar.bertukar rupa.menakutkan.gulp.telan liur sendiri.fuh.mimpi lagik.haih.teman.cepatlah pulang.aku takut sendirian di sini.serasa ada saja kelibat bayang tanpa jasad memerhati dari kejauhan.serasa ada nafas yang menghembus saban waktu di sisi.mata yang tajam merenung setiap gerak-geri.memerhati dari sisi yang tidak bisa di lihat dengan mata kasar.rakus.seolah-olah ia mendendami aku.oke.aku takut.sumpah.takut.wei.mimpi ngeri kalau rumah ini berhantu.ia seolah-olah hidup bila senja merapati waktu.uhuh.

mungkin ia disebabkan oleh tekanan perasaan yang maha hebat?ya.mungkin juga.aku akui.aku tertekan.dengan situasi yang membelenggu diri.rimas.lemas.tekanan yang dihasilkan oleh suasana yang dicipta dan direka oleh tempat kerja.status sebagai pelajar praktikal seolah-olah membebankan aku.ya.memang berat.antara tanggungjawab.dan.kedinginan yang diterima.oh.oh sungguh tidak boleh diterima oleh akal yang waras.layanan yang dingin.dan.direka-reka.tidak. mereka tidak ikhlas menerima aku disitu.jika tidak masakan mungkin mereka bersikap sebegitu rupa.mesra pada pandangan mata kasar saja.hakikatnya.aku saja yang tahu.hey.hey.aku bukan budak yang boleh diperbodohkan.yang boleh diperkotak-katikkan sesukasuki mereka.

oleh itu.badan bersatu dengan akal fikiran yang kotor.mereka-reka satu alasan.badan menerima arahan dari minda.badan jatuh sakit.otak seolah-olah tidak mahu berfungsi.yeah.aku sakit.cuba mahu melawan kehendak kotor itu.tidak.badan tidak mahu beralah.otak semakin berat.gagal lagi berfungsi.hati kecil semakin tipis peluangnya untuk memujuk minda.dan-sekali lagi.aku cuti. hakikatnya.aku seorang yang culas mahu meminta cuti.demam sekalipun.jika tidak memudaratkan badan.pasti aku akan pergi.itu tanggungjawab aku.tapi.dua-tiga tahun kebelakangan ini.aku mula menyedari taktik kotor ini.yeah.helah akal dan fikiran mahu mengabui pandangan mata kasar.

selalunya ia akan muncul di waktu keadaan yang aku tidak sukai.tertekan.ianya akan menjadi-jadi sekiranya aku memaksa diri untuk melalui detik-detik tidak berharga itu.dan lebih kronik jika mata mula berlinar-pinar.merah.urat-urat akan timbul.sakit sebelah kepala.menyucuk-nyucuk pangkal kepala.aku hanya mampu menjerit.kesakitan.menangis.

pasti mereka mengata sesuatu tentang aku.aku pasti tentang itu.mana mungkin serangan yang sama berlaku dalam jangka waktu yang singkat.tapi.aku tidak berbohong.sumpah.aku tidak pernah memintanya.jauh sekali mendoakan agar aku sentiasa sakit untuk mengelak ke tempat kerja.walaupun aku tidk selesa dengan keadaan di sana.ianya sedikit sebanyak pasti akan mempengaruhi penilaian mereka ke atas aku.mesti aku dikatakan seorang yang lemah.dan.mudah beralasan.ah.aku tidak pedulilah.aku bukan malaikat bukan juga syaitan.aku cuma manusia biasa.

ps:aku membebel.bebel.konfiuslah.sindrom kesakitan tahap melampau.

::heart daddy's::

::16 mei 1953 - 27 august 2002::

::hospital besar ipoh::

::6.40am,subuh::

i lost my father when i was seventeen.he died because of cancer.he suffered many years ago before taken by God.yeah.im glad his gone.its not because i dont love him.but i just cant stand to watched him suffered anymore.with a wires here and there.tag along his hand.ohmygod.as his daughter,i felt like wanna replace his place so he cant suffered anymore.i cant stand to watched him being pushed over by the nurse to put some tube into his mouth so the vomit can come out.his begging the nurse not to push anymore.he cant stand it.but the nurse just doing her job.me felt like wanna cry.its really hurt me.just imagine how he felt that time.poor him.

haih..too much feeling inside my head.my heart.i cant let it out.i just dunno how. and with whom i can share this feeling.the hurt that i felt.years ago.it never be the same again without him in the family.empty.

i know.its too late for me asking for apologize.for everything i have done.my bad.im stubborn.selfish.egois.i never listen to you or mom words.its my fault.and now im carried for the whole life.the guilt that i felt.never ending.and i will never satisfied with myself.i never got a chance too take care of you.game over.no more laughing.no more joking.no more tears.no more earbashing.from you.again.your advise.your smile upon your face.i will never gonna see it again.

too much things.i wanna write here.but i cant.emotion unstable.the tense is high.life up and down.and i still cant forget about it.just like yesterday it happened.

::kisah mak tiri lagik dan bukan muka buku..hey::

weh..weh..aku ada cite best mau share.mak tiri kan tetiba baek giler ngan aku pagi nie.siap cakap ngan aku molek-molek je.hohohoh..takot sial.asal huh??

owh..owh..mebi sebab dia mahu bercuti panjang minggu depan.dan dia mahu tinggalkan keje beliau dengan aku.yeah.mebi la.nope.itu sudah pasti la kan.siapa lagi mahu buat keje dia kecuali aku ini. ceh.patotla dan-dan je baek.siap banje makan sume.cheet.poodah.

oke.takpe.aku maafkan.kau gi la bercuti.yeah.aku bole bersenang lenang di pejabat.hip.hip.hooray.

owh.nanti bile-bile free aku upload gamba yang aku snap time mula-mula jejak ke penjara janji ini.tunggu dan lihat saja.

ps:aku benci orang bermuka-muka.bukan muka buku.lagi satu.aku benci orang yang tak adil.suke orang tu sebab dia chantek??whathefuck man??bagi layanan unfair tahap asura nye kat orang len yang tak sechantek yang digemari.yucckkkkss..you lost my respect lah.i hate people like you.jijik siot pandang muka kau tiap kali g bilik kau.muka cam lahanat.jangan harap aku mau tego or pape la ngan kau.g mati la kau.sialan.huh.aku siyesly cam mahu bom saja diorang ni cam altantuya.kan best.maya.tipon idola kau.aku mahu c4.oke.tengs.

::kisah mak tiri::

halu..im back.hohohoho.

dah aku malas mau cakap banyak-banyak.aku busan.sumpah aku busan tahap gaban.meluat.geram.fuh.rasa cam nak koyak-koyak je mulot dia.cam nak korek-korek je bijik mata dia yang suke sangat jeling-jeling aku tuh.peh.kau ingat kau da bagos ke??cam sial.sumpah.aku rasa cam mau simbah asid saja kat muka dia.haih.muka tiap kali pandang pon mau muntah.gelik la bodo aku tengok muka kau.kau ingat kau chantek sangat?aku pon takpaham pompaun nie.ntah pe la yang aku da wat kat dia aku pon tatau.cam dendam giler babinye ngn aku.cam la aku da penah goda laki dia.tak pon.cam aku penah bunuh satu femeli dia.sampai dia sakit ati sangat ngan aku.ala.aku tau la aku sape.aku jap je kat situ.xd niat pon mau rampas takhta kau tu.kau simpanla.bawak mati.aku tak heran la.sialan.sikit-sikit aku.sume aku.aku je yang kau nampak.orang len kau tak nampak lak.aku je yang salah.salah kau??ada kau pikir??kau memang gampang la.bende kecik pon kau nak besar-besarkan.da tahu aku nie cam sial len kali kau cek la keje aku.xyah susah-susah kau mau canang satu dunia kau berjaya marah aku la.ish.geram giler.wargghhh..tensi.tensi.aku pon tak paham ngn minah sorang nie.time mau mintak tolong.pijak gajah pon tak mati.baek je.time hangen tade.ribot tade.tetibe je nak hangen-hangen ngn kau.dingin semacam je.ele.kau ingat aku nak sangat gi sane tu??tak hamak la.ishk.kalau kau tak ikhlas nak trima aku.aku seploh kali ganda tak ikhlas tau tak..uhuh.yeah. whatever pon life is full with obstacles.and thats the fact.*watafish*

ps:siyes aku rasa cam mau simbah asid saja ke muka encek mak tiri.sumpah aku meluat ngan dia.eeii.menyampah.sampah.